Monumental part ONE

The theater was fairly quiet as we all gathered into our seats.  No one coming really knew what to expect. We were here for many different reasons.  Perhaps because all of us want to be assured simply that “we are not alone.”  As I stood holding baby boy waiting for the usual movie-time treats to arrive I reflected on what had come before.

This day hadn’t gone quite as planned.  First of all things had been so busy that a shower hadn’t happened until much later than I desired.  The boys were a bit whiney and didn’t really care to take their naps.  Which is never exciting for mama, but especially on the days when that nap time is so needed.  Finally nap time had come.  I just need 10 minutes to myself I thought.  But of course then came a phone call I couldn’t turn away followed by baby boy waking up needing mama again and really leaving me no options of time to prepare or relax.  But then Daddy came home and Mama hightailed it into the shower.  (I have never been one of those girls who spends hours getting ready for a date, but even so only having 15-20 minutes makes me a little sad.)

When I returned from my shower I found the oldest boy snuggled up with his daddy watching a show.  And then came the dilemma, do we wake up middle boy since it is the end of nap-time or do we let him sleep longer since he fell asleep so late.  It was decided that he should continue to sleep until Mama was ready.    Middle brother can be the sweetest angel or the scariest monster depending on his mood.  Because he likes things a certain way and it isn’t always a way that makes sense to the rest of us sometimes doing the simple things with him can be so time-consuming.  And today was not destined to be any different.

Since my mom had agreed to watch the boys for this date it was not such an urgency to have the boys just so before we left.  A diaper did need to be changed though.  So, with only 5 minutes before we were to leave we began the process.  This was not enough time and I knew it.

We are going through what I hope is a phase with middle brother that is waging war on my heart.  Before I had kids I had no idea what a strong-willed child was.  And once I had firstborn I still didn’t know. I assumed that strong-willed children were firstborn children.  And then our firstborn was so relatively easy that I believed we’d dodged the bullet.  Oh, how wrong I was.  Firstborn arrived on his due date of all things which I guess is pretty rare.  As a little one he was mostly compliant and his desire to help and please was and is a delight to me.  Now don’t get me wrong, he is far from perfect.  We go through things with him all the time and now that he has two other brothers he doesn’t get everything he wants and there can be issues with that.  Overall though he is easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy as he is willing to bend in the long run.

Mr. Number 2 is anything but easy.  His name means Fair Warrior and he certainly is.  It often seems like most things he does comes with a war.  He carries this picture in his mind of how things should be and to deviate from that path would bring about the end of the world as he knows it.  Oh, how I wish I could see that picture.  It would make life so much smoother, because I honestly cannot understand why things must be just so sometimes.  I really don’t even know if strong will is strong enough to describe him.  I so don’t want to look at everything I do with this boy as being a battle and that is a prayer I often pray - that God would help me to see things in another way.  I know God has great things for this boy - the boy who can charm the skin off a snake and then turn around and eat it for dinner.

Back to the story –  So, we began mission diaper change.  It was not what he wanted to do at that moment.  (I bend to things with him when I can, but children also need to learn that they cannot always get their way.)  You would have thought that all hell had broken loose the way he lost it.  He certainly wasn’t holding back.  There was kicking and screaming and hitting and yelling and crying to the point of coughing and the sounds of throwing up that by a miracle he managed to keep inside.  When this happens it really breaks me.  I want to hold my baby and give him everything he wants.  I want to understand where the disconnect is coming from so I can soothe the upset and make everything alright again.  In the same moment sometimes I just want to throw him out the window.  I hate that I feel that way.  I love him so much, but sometimes when he hurts me I am really hurt and the negative side of me has a desire to react.  And in fact this night I did react, not with physical actions, but with words.  I spoke words over my son that I will never get back.  I have though them before, but I have never spoken them.  I called him a  brat.  Oh, I would give anything to take that word back.  My children are not brats.  I hate describing them in any negative way especially to them.  My hearts’ desire is to only speak life over my children and here I said that.  That was the end of it for me.  I was lost for a time.  My mom said to just go, she would handle him.  I didn’t want to leave.  I didn’t want to make anyone have to deal with that and I didn’t want to leave my little boy in the place that we were at.  But, we were running late (according to my time…which is a different clock then my husband runs on, but that’s another story) and we had to go.  I held this weeping boy (who by the way hadn’t even heard the words I’d said he was yelling so loud) and told him I loved him and would see him later.

We got into the car with #3 who was pretty upset from all the noise and was adding his own chorus to our night.  I did not want to go.  I wasn’t in the mood to be happy and try to pretend everything was alright.  We almost turned back, but husband wanted to go so bad and it has been months and months since we saw a movie that I was torn in wanting to go for him.  Plus, we weren’t going to see just any old movie.  This was a live event that we wouldn’t have the opportunity to see again in the theater…at least at this time. (I really hope that changes, but more to come on that.)

As we pulled into the movie theater parking lot there was a lot of wisdom to be seen.  I kept looking for people our age, hoping that maybe there are others like us.  Truth be told it was a movie playing at 5:30 and most of my working friends aren’t even home from work by that time so I am not that surprised there were so few of us. (I did see a few more come into the room right before things started.)  Fortunately the theater opened a second screen or we would have been out of luck as the movie was sold out even before this day.  And here we are back to where I started this story and I haven’t gotten to the good stuff yet, but this post is long.  Hundreds of words longer than I aim for.  So, I will edit the title and this will be part one of a story I am itching to tell you.  I hope you will join me again to hear about one of the most amazing experiences of my life.

Miraculously Blessed,

Jessica

Monumental part 2

Just to let you know that you can read this post without reading part 1 which was all about what happened before the event began.  But, if you missed it and want to read that one, click here.  I have to say that I have read a couple of negative blogs about this movie and Kirk Cameron in general. I felt that the overall experience I had of the night was positive.  Of course I run things through my own personal paradigm filter as I believe everyone does.  We all have to settle in our own minds and heart what we personally believe and where we trust our knowledge to come from.  Now, on to the adventure.

Love of my life arrived back at our seats with some traditional movie treats.   We settled into our seats and I busied myself making baby boy happy so we could relax and enjoy the event.  This “movie” we came to see was part of a live event hosted by the creator Kirk Cameron.  The theater lights went out and there we were at his front door…in real time.  Kirk invited us in and introduced us to folks he had gathered there.  Right by his front door were two guys who were from his church I think, that were all set up with guitar’s and microphones.  And we began this night off with worship.  It was beautiful and amazing.  It was exactly what this weary mom needed to soothe my aching soul.  Can’t say that I have ever had a worship time at the movie theater before.  After the worship Kirk introduced and talked with some others – Glenn Beck, Alveda King and his pastor and grandfather.  Then Warren Barfield (did music for Fireproof) played a great song called “Waiting for the Right Time”  that he wrote about getting married.  (It was about the fact that if you spend your whole life focused on getting to the “right time” then you’re going to miss the right time as it flies right by, not just in regards to marriage, but many big things in life.)  It was fun to see all this and he certainly set as atmosphere for what was to come.

I honestly had no real idea what to expect.  I had only seen one preview and don’t think I was paying that close of attention to it.  My husband really wanted us to go (which was enough for me) and it was being promoted by people whose opinion and advice I trust, so here we were.  The movie is basically a documentary of Kirk’s search to discover some truth about our history.  He documents his travel beginning in England to discover the roots of America.  Here he learns things about the Pilgrims I do not remember learning in school.  From what he learned it shows even more clearly what God and family meant to these people and what they were willing to sacrifice to see truth and freedom in their lives and the lives of those they loved.  After learning about our forefathers he next travels to learn about our founding fathers.  In the past years I have been learning more about our founding fathers and I was a bit more familiar with what he learned here although I do not believe that most Americans would be.  It seems that we have so often taken our history for granted.  It’s like we need to say to ourselves every morning “Wake-up, history repeats itself.  Know your history.”  Why are we so lax about the past?  We need to care.  If we do not know the foundations of our history, it can easily be destroyed, disfigured or lost.  And if we lose the foundations of who we are then we crumble.  How can we appreciate and understand the sacrifice of those who have come before us and are among us now if we don’t care enough to spend the time it takes to know it.  How can we expect true freedom if things are being swept under the rug and all we do is shrug and believe that we can’t do anything about it?  This is an area I want to address in the next few blogs or so.

Kirk too was looking at the “signs of the times” and very concerned about what’s happening.  He said he had talked to other’s in his church who have said that these things are signs of the last days and there is nothing he can do so that’s that.  Kirk wasn’t satisfied with that and frankly neither am I.  He  spoke of his children and the hopes and dreams he has for them.  He had come to the decision that standing by and letting things crumble wasn’t good enough for him.  He wanted a different solution.  He needed to become a different solution.  I totally agreed.  I too want to be a different solution.  It’s time we really dug deep and began to understand our history.  We need to know who we are and how we got here.  It needs to be more than a passing fancy.  It needs to become woven into the fabric of who each of us are individually so it can’t be stolen from us.

I want to tell you so much more about the movie, but I really feel it’s something you need to see for yourself.  I don’t want to leave you full of preconceived ideas.  I want you to go as open as I went.  But, to get it near you, you have to demand the movie. You may not be as impacted as I was, but maybe, just maybe you’ll hear the alarm bell go off in your head and say…this is something I need to know…this is something my children need to know.

As for me and my house, we want the truth.  Not the pretty picture, not the ugly lie, just the truth no matter how it looks.  We want to understand America and why we are who we are today.  If you’re interested in learning more about this please go and see Monumental and tell me if you did.  I would love to hear what you thought.  We don’t have to think alike.  We don’t have to respond the same.  I want us all to have the freedom to choose what we believe and I want to know what you believe and why.  I believe that it’s the freedom to be different that makes us truly America.  Tell me, is this the story you know?

Miraculously Blessed,

Jessica

YOU…doing that thing you do

Dear Ones -

This blog post really isn’t for you, but I am sharing it with you because I want to shout it to the world how wonderful the man I am married to is.  So enjoy my cyber letter to him.

Good Morning Love -

As I write this you are still enjoying a few moments of restful sleep.  Not that I’m sure it’s totally restful as pressed up to your side and using your arm as a pillow is our long lean one, the very first one we opened our heart to.  You don’t seem to mind him there, in fact, I think you enjoy it.  I love that about you.  I love the way you make room for them even when you’ve had a long rough day and you’re worn out.  You always make room for us (the boys and me).  You push yourself and keep going to be there for us, even when you really want to drop.  I love the way your heart is so big that I never have to worry if you’ll have enough love for us or those that will come.  I love your room-y heart.

Here I am, up over an hour before I need to be and I am on the computer.  Granted, I am writing this letter to you, but I could just as easily be on Facebook or Pinterest…it happens you know.  I think about the many messes I could be cleaning in this time hands free from kids.  I could so easily feel guilty over those messes.  But you never make me feel that way.  You are always so understanding that sometimes I just need to take a personal break.  You actually see what’s it’s like for me to just take a few mindless and workless minutes for myself.  In fact, you sometimes push me into them.  Like the way you lock the bathroom door for me so I can take an uninterrupted shower.  Or the way you hold the baby at night so I can just lay in bed and have my arms free.  I love the way your understanding translates into care.

Just thinking about how hard you’ve been working to get this year’s taxes done.  I know it’s a lot of work to make sure every i is dotted and every t is crossed.  You do that with everything.  You are a real perfectionist when it comes to making sure our finances and legal matters are in order.  I never have to worry about things of that nature not being done.  And you are so skilled at keeping things balanced.  You always make it work.  Things might be tight and keeping it all together might not always be the easiest thing, but you make it look easy.  I love that without complaint, you carry that burden for our family.

And there’s the yucky chores.  You so often volunteer to take on the worst jobs around the house and perform them cheerfully.  Like cleaning up the dog droppings.  You have cheerfully taken that job on and I love living in a place where the kids and I can go outside and I don’t have to worry about one of them picking up a pile.  You always seem to know when there is a “yucky” job that I really don’t want to do and you just do it.  I love that you give me a break from the gross-ness and we both know that with boys there tends to be an extra portion of gross-ness that just seems to be multiplying the older they get.

Today on the morning news they had a stupid report on who is the better parent - mom or dad?  It was really about who did specific jobs better.  My question is, what job makes a better parent?  I don’t think there is.  I think the parenting job is best done when you have a team.  I know there are families that don’t have the team option and I feel so blessed because I am not alone.  You always work with me so we can be a team.  Sometimes, it’s getting up in the middle of the night.  Sometimes, it’s holding the baby so I can do the dishes.  Sometimes, it’s running to the grocery store or the fast food joint or Tar-je…whatever, it’s the willingness to pitch in and help us get to bedtime and beyond.  I love that you are my partner in everything.

Okay, so maybe always doesn’t always hold true, but you are the best.  And the truth is that I don’t think there are words to describe those things you do, those simply amazing things.  Every moment of every day I become more grateful to God that I can have all those special gifts in my life.  Being with you is my favorite thing.  When you do all those things you do, my heart melts and I am overwhelmed.  I still get excited at the sight of you.  You are my amazing treasure.  I love you darling.  And I love all those things you always do!  EeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEe

I am truly miraculously blessed!

Jessica

 

This little handprint

Dear Ones -
Most moments these days minutes run into eachother before I’ve had a chance to realize the sun is already setting.  My darling kids run from one end of the house to the other and only stop when they fall into their beds.  Okay, let’s face it…many a night they don’t even fall into their beds, but rather run in and out of their rooms for a good, long time.
Sometimes I get so stressed with all I have to do and it seems like the piles of laundry never stop.  And sometimes the dishes never stop piling up and exhaustion pushes me oh so close to my breaking point.  And then sometimes in the midst of the dirt and clutter I see the beautiful marks my kids are leaving on my heart in real life.  Sometimes when I look in my mirror I see more than the exhausted mom who needs a date and a good night’s sleep.  Sometimes I see little hand-prints and instead of wiping my mirror clean I take that little moment to be thankful for my mess makers.  Sometimes like in this moment I take a snap shot and remember that these little hands will only leave their marks if I let them.  Sometimes I just need to hold my boys closer and thank God that I have this one more day with them.  The messes…they’ll be here forever.  These little boys…they grow so fast and this moment will only last if I make the memories.  For today, I choose to be thankful and leave the hand-print.
Miraculously Blessed,
Jessica

2012 -My New Year

Good Morning Dear Ones -

It has been quite some time since I’ve taken a moment to share my heart on here.  Since the last time I wrote I have had a baby, got settled into my new home and passed through the holiday season.  (Actually, we haven’t quite finished our holidays around here as not everyone was home to celebrate and we decided to postpone things til later this week.)

My newest little boy arrived bright and early on the morning of December 5th.  He truly is a miracle.  Everyone around here is in love all over again.  I feel so blessed that God would give me three little boys.  It appears I have joined a club and I am happy to be a part of it.  This guy is sweet and cuddly and seems to be a relatively easy baby.  I will do a post shortly with pictures and more on him.

Today is the first day my wonderful, amazing husband returns to work since baby’s arrival.  I am nervous and excited on how it’s all going to go.  I know I am going to miss having him around dreadfully.  It’s not even the help he provides (though I will miss that).  It’s just him.  I am so in love with my husband and being with him is one of my biggest delights.

This year I really want to focus and connecting with God in a new and fresh way.  I simply feel ready for all the adventure I know He has waiting for me.  My heart’s song for this year reads well from Psalm 108:1-5                                        
-I’m ready, God, so ready,
ready from head to toe.
Ready to sing,
ready to raise a God-song:
“Wake, soul! Wake, lute!
Wake up, you sleepyhead sun!”
I’m thanking you, God, out in the streets,
singing your praises in town and country.
The deeper your love, the higher it goes;
every cloud’s a flag to your faithfulness.
Soar high in the skies, O God!
Cover the whole earth with your glory!

I hope you will join me this year in celebrating both the gift of life and the Giver!

Miraculously Blessed -

Jessica

When miracles are sleeping

Good Morning Dear Ones -

I am grabbing a few minutes here while my miracles are still curled up in their beds to share with you some thoughts that have been on my mind.  Like a freight train America is careening towards Christmas and in some places it seems like we could miss Thanksgiving altogether.  It does appear that there is one “holiday” (and I used that term with all the sarcasm I can muster at this early hour) still to arrive before Christmas and that is Black Friday.  Oh sure, I love a good deal as much as the next mom, but there is something special about Thanksgiving that seems to be rushed past.

It’s almost like the whole idea of being grateful has disappeared.  Oh, not necessarily in word, but in pace.  It feels like in our hearts we no longer take the time to slow down, look around and see what we truly have.  Often we don’t even take a short minute.  I have been oh-so-guilty of this.  And it’s true, I do have some valid excuses.  Being hugely pregnant, chasing around 2 active boys, trying to get a house moved and cleaned and closed on before baby comes, trying to get a new space organized and the list goes on.  This list of excuses that tempts me to complain rather than praise.  This list of excuses that draws me into the dark rather than shining the light.  This is where I could focus.  I could forget about all the amazing things that are happening and in fact for a period of time this weekend I did.  I allowed the frustration and hormonal imbalance to take over.  I stepped off of solid ground into the quicksand of depression.  Things weren’t going my way.  I hurt.  I wasn’t getting everything I wanted.  Nobody was listening to me.  I hurt.  I feel alone.  There is so much to do and I have no energy to do it and if I don’t do it, well, there is nobody else to do it.  I just need a break.  I just need some peace and quiet.  I hurt.  Not quite sure why I was wanting to spend my time focusing on these things.  They did nothing but drag me deeper.  Sadly, I wasn’t even looking for a rescue rope to pull me out of my pit.  I think I may have a had a shovel to dig myself in deeper.

I was not looking for blessings.  I was not grateful/thankful for anything.  Have you been there?  Please tell me I am not alone.  Please tell me that in some form or another you have been there and done that.  Well, even if you haven’t it’s possible you might find yourself there and I just want to encourage you that not drowning in the hole of self-pity (justified or not) is way better than drowning there.  If you are looking for a place to drown I can offer a suggestion.  Take a dive off the highest cliff of pain you have in your life right into the amazing sea of love that waits for you.  Suck in the water of life.  Literally breathe it in.  This, my friends, this is drowning.  This is where you allow everything you’ve focused on to be pushed out with only the one thought…”I want to live.  I want to live free.”

Thanksgiving is a choice.  Our American ancestors could have spent that first thanksgiving mourning their losses and looking at all the things they didn’t have.  They could have argued and complained their way through the beginnings of their new lives and probably some of them did opt for that route. The life they chose was not easy.  They gave up more than I think many of us can even imagine.  They lost more than many of us may ever know.  And yet, they took the time to count their blessings.  They refused to let go of the promise that God had given them of freedom.  Some things are worth the most valuable treasure we have.  Some prices are worth paying.

And the counting.  That is the most miraculous part.  Somehow, when you being to count your blessings; when you begin to turn your complaints into thanksgivings all that is truly of value seems to multiply.  Suddenly the list of garbage does not seem so big.  Suddenly the mountain of pain is not so insurmountable.  Suddenly, you are soaring with eagles wings over it all.  Imagine this – Light begins to surge through your darkness…just a small flicker at first.  Maybe it’s the flame of a candle in a large dark room.  Then suddenly you are holding a flashlight in your hands and even though shadows are all around you can see.  Next you find a lamp and it drives the darkness from a corner or two of the room and then…oh, then comes the pure joy.  The floodlights are thrown on and hope releases the aroma of freshness.  There is no more darkness.  Not only can you clearly see your blessings, but you can taste them and feel them and dance with them.  It’s a new day.  This is what thanksgiving is all about.  This is what Thanksgiving Day can be all about.  This year instead of rushing through to get to the next “holiday”, stop and live in this moment of grace.  Think on the sacrifice that was paid for your freedom.  Find at least one little thing to be thankful for and allow it to grow.  Let yourself dive into love and drown in it.  I can tell you that this light of thanksgiving is much more satisfying than any darkness of mourning.

If you haven’t gotten it yet, Ann Voscamp has a free APP for One Thousand Gifts that I encourage you to add to your phone.  Maybe it will help you take that first step out of darkness.   http://bit.ly/vG6I6O

Praying you find the freedom of thankfulness this holiday.  Matthew 11:28

Miraculously Blessed,

Jessica

Slowing down so I don’t miss the stop sign…

Dear Ones -

My family has been moving into a new house for the last month.  Between the old house and the new house there is a road with a stop sign that could be easy to miss.  It’s one of those very low traffic roads.  I have been in the car with another family member who missed it and drove through the intersection without stopping.  Another admitted to me that they have also missed that particular sign.  To be truthful, I can see how one could miss this sign and I don’t really know why it is at the spot it is.  There is a street right after it that seems the same and has no stop sign.  So far, even with my driving distractions (kids), I have not missed it, but if I don’t stay slow…it could happen.

I am 36 weeks pregnant this week.  This pregnancy has flown by.  Part of it I’m sure is that we didn’t tell many for so long and in the not telling some of the realness of the pregnancy didn’t hit us for quite some time.  Yesterday we had our 36th week appointment and a tour of a possible hospital we could have the baby at.  On the drive home Jordan said to me, “It just hit me that in 4 weeks I am going to be a father of three boys.”  Talk about a stop and take notice sign.

We have been trying to sell our old house and in fact close on the 23rd of this month.  YAY!  Thank you God for getting this done for us before this baby comes.  (My prayer of hopefulness.)  Which has meant moving into the new location and out of the old during this pregnancy, not to mention all the construction going on.  It has been exhausting things have been speeding along.  Lately it seems I can barely keep my eyes open longer than the kids at night.  There is so much to do, but time is ticking away.  When the piles add up and we have so much to do, how do we stop working our way through them to stop when we see those little red signs in life?

I wish I was better at slowing down and appreciating life.  Seems like when I slow down I get stuck.  Have you ever read the book Oh, the Places You’ll Go by Dr, Seuss?  Seriously, one of my favorite books.  Part of it talks about “the waiting place”.  This is that place that it is easy to get stuck in.  You start waiting around for something and then you just wait and wait and wait, becoming stagnant.  No thank you.  I really want to work on my stops becoming intentional times.  As in, I intentionally stop to notice things, to become more aware, to appreciate and value things.  I think you get stuck waiting and get lazy when you aren’t intentional about the stopping.

Sometimes, it is really hard to live life intentionally.  Jordan and I were talking the other day about the beautiful scenery we were noticing as we were driving.  I said to him that there was a job I used to have that had around 30 minutes of beautiful scenery driving everyday, but some days I would get to work and I did not even remember driving at all.  Scary, huh?  When routine, mundane or the busy-ness of life makes things disappear we miss opportunities to really live.  It’s funny how a simple stop sign can make you wake up and notice.  I’ll tell you what though, if you’re the one driving the opposite way and somebody else misses one it can be a real wake-up call to you.  Suddenly you can find yourself swerving, honking or worse.  Your blood starts pumping and for the rest your drive you notice everything.  Wouldn’t it be great if life was lived more that way…intentionally stopping and taking notice?  Really feeling alive and not from fear, but with intention.

For me I really want to see my kids.  I don’t want their childhood to be the background noise to everything else I have going on.  I was watching Michelle Duggar this week talk about how she stays calm with her kids and why.  She said she wants her children’s hearts.  Those simple words impacted me so much…because that’s what I want too.  I want my children’s hearts to be turned to the Father.  I want them to know love…real love.  The love their Creator and their family has for them as well as how to give love.  I don’t see how they can know this without being a priority.  If we are driving through life like maniacs and never slow down and stop to listen to their voices, their needs, their hearts how can we ever expect them to stop living at a break neck speed and experience the wonder life has to offer?  How can we ever expect to capture their hearts?  I contend we can’t.  So for me, once again, I am stopping at the stop sign I see on my horizon and re-prioritizing.  Everything about the house will be done at some point.  This baby is going to come when he is ready to come and no amount of preparation will ever change that.  If my heart is full of love and my tank is full of gas (to get me to the hospital) nothing else HAS to be done.

May I ask that you take a look and see if there are any stop signs in your life you’ve been speeding through.  If there are, be encouraged that stopping is a good option.  Make the most of your slow down and be intentional in seeing life around you.  If this is something you are already good at, I would love it if you would lift me up in your prayers that I wouldn’t lose sight of what is most important.

Miraculously Blessed,

Jessica

Love: A Guest Post

Dear Ones -

Today’s post will find you reading a story that is more than a story written by my mother-in-law.  I asked her to write it down a while back because I knew it was a story that had the potential to touch your heart and draw you closer to the One who loves you more than you can imagine.  So, grab a steaming cup of tea, pull your favorite cozy blanket around your toes and settle in to be loved.

Within the core of every human being is a deep longing of knowing that they are “known”, truly loved and have worth.

My story, as coming from a very large family of 8 children, 2nd oldest, was one of “assumably” knowing you were loved, but never hearing it.  As an adult, I was on a deeper quest to fill that deeper hole in my heart.

After becoming a Christian, that yearning kept growing and growing, as I was empty, hurting, and longing for a real Revelation of knowing that “SOMEONE” really knew “ME”, and loved “ME” and that I was seen as precious.

Little did I know that My Heavenly Daddy would use something as little as a ring to turn on the light into the dark and hurting place in my heart.

My husband (currently of 39 years) had given me a “pre-engagement” ring back in 1971.  They called them Lindy Stars in those days, a very striking cornflower blue, marquis stone with a little diamond on each side, very simple, but beautiful.  The star in it when held in the sunlight, was brilliant!  It was a treasure to me and I would soon come to find out why I so treasured THAT ring.

Fast forward a number of years and 3 sons later, still having the ring in my possession, wearing it off and on, until “the day” of discovering it was gone,  Instant panic set in and the hunt for finding my ring began to consume me.  I looked everywhere…and I mean everywhere.  Followed by endless questioning of my husband and boys – “Have you seen it?”  ”Can you remember the last time you did see it?”  ”Please, please help me find it.”  I can remember, like it was yesterday one time, of sitting in my attic, after thoroughly searching for, I don’t know, the umpteenth time, alone and sobbing, begging the Lord to show me where my ring was.  ”If it’s gone forever, please just let me know in some way and I’ll let it go”, but at the same time not wanting to let go and knowing that He knew right where it was, because He is ALL KNOWING, and nothing is hidden from Him.

We had been going to the same church for a number of years and it was April of 1999.  We had a speaker in from England, whose sole message was on God’s Father Heart and His love.  I remember the words I was hearing touched me so deeply and moved me to just even thinking the thought, “Oh God, it would be the ultimate show of Your love for me if You would bring my ring back to me.”

Also, at this same time, I was in a women’s Bible Study and the second to last lesson , we had to tell of an experience where someone had tried to give you a gift, and you had a hard time receiving it.  When it was my turn to share, I began to open up and tell the story of my ring, what it looked like, how it was lost and how the previous summer, it being our 25th wedding anniversary, my husband had heard through my mom, who had seen another Lindy Star ring at an antique store, had borrowed the money to purchase it (having just lost his job).  When he brought that little package to me, I was inwardly hoping that he had found “the ring” and had kept it for just this occasion, but my heart sank, as I opened it and found it not to be my treasured ring.  To hide my disappointment, despite his sweet gesture was very hard.

While listening to my experience and description, our church secretary was stunned, thinking, “I have had Jean’s ring in my desk drawer for years and never knew who it belonged to, until now.”  Needless to say, she contacted all the ladies, and planned “the surprise” for me putting the ring in one of those big plastic Easter eggs filled with the grass and they were to give it to me at the end of the last study which happened to be on Good Friday.  Now as I’m writing this, tears in my eyes, thinking how awesome the timing of a loving Heavenly Daddy who gave His all, His only Son, Jesus, to show the whole world, all of mankind just that…HOW MUCH HE LOVES!

Well, needless to say, when I opened that egg, I could scarce believe what I was seeing, sobbing in utter joy in TRULY KNOWING that my Daddy in Heaven who created me to know Him, intimately knows my every thought, and holds every tear I’ve cried in His loving hands, knows what brings me joy, makes me sad, knows every single detail about ME had demonstrated that Awesome, precious love for me, and from His Holy Heaven also hears every uttered and un-uttered thought, cry and hurt of every person, and longs desperately for all of mankind to know that life-changing Powerful Love!

And I pray that Jesus will be more and more at home in your hearts, living within you, as you trust in Him.  May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love; and may you be able to feel and UNDERSTAND as all of God’s children should, how long, how wide, how DEEP and how HIGH His love really is, and to experience this love for yourselves!  Ephesians 3:17

Thank “Mom” for sharing your story of being touched by His love.  My prayer today is that it encourages my readers that there is a touch of His love waiting for each of them.  Dear Ones, if you have been waiting and praying for something oh-so-dear to you, do not lose heart.  He knows you and has GREAT LOVE in store for you and His timing is perfect.  You are not forgotten and you are not alone.  Feel free to leave a comment or question here and I will pass them on to my MIL.

This is not her ring, but gives you an idea of what it looks like.

Miraculously Blessed -

Jessica

November Dawn

Dear Ones -

It has been so long since I’ve posted.  I wanted to get all settled into our new home before I tried to get back into the swing of things, but that seems to be taking much, much longer than I planned so I thought I could put a few of the scattered thoughts running through my head onto the page and share them with you.  Nice of me, huh?

So, here’s a quick recap of where things in my life are standing right now.  As of today, my due date is 36 days away.  Firstborn was born on his due date and number two came a week late.  This one seems to be working hard at getting out so I would not be surprised if he popped out early.  Early is okay with me as long as he’s not too early.  Of course, if he decides November is his month and doesn’t come Thanksgiving Day he will miss being a holiday baby.  And even though every day seems to be a national something or other day December 6th (his due date) is Saint Nicholas Day (not one I’ve ever celebrated, but I’d take it for a holiday baby).

We’ve moved into our new house partially.  We’re living here, but we still have a bunch of stuff at the old place.  Right now the closing date is November 23rd so we have a little bit of time to get some things straightened out.  It is hard being eight months pregnant and trying to move.  Not highly recommended.  My poor husband has to work so hard cause there are things I just can’t do.  I am eagerly awaiting just having to do things in one house though.

The boys are getting so big.  They love the new place.  Last night they went on an adventure walk date with their dad and I got to hear all kinds of stories about waterfalls and sticks and jungles…totally a father/son adventure.  I am looking forward to when the new place is no longer “under construction” and we can really live here.

Just a few short months ago I was a bit concerned about Mr. F’s vocabulary, but it has taken off.  Somehow though his favorite words seem to be “NO – I DO IT.”  (Yes, that is all in caps because he yells it every time.)  He is definitely a strong-willed child and I need to pray everyday that God channels his strength into a productive outlet for HIS glory…because this mom is exhausted just trying to figure out which battles are worth fighting.

I think so many days that Liam is just bubbling over with energy.  He is my energizer bunny.  It seems like the more tired he gets, the more active he gets.  It’s too funny (and hair-raising at the same time).  Some days I have to admit I am a little afraid of having three boys under one roof.  Not mention the dream I had a while back.  I dreamed that it was shortly after having this current babe and I was talking to God and telling Him that it was okay with me if He wanted to give me another boy.  Suddenly I found that I was pregnant with another boy again…very soon after giving birth.  Needless to say that since I woke up from that one I have been considering not talking to God for a while after this boy is born…just to be on the safe side.

Well, time to head off for another project.  If you, like me, woke to a dreary November 1st I just want to encourage you that you can choose to rejoice in the Lord because it is indeed the day He has made and we can not only rejoice, but we can be glad in it.  We can look for His hand and find that we are sheltered in His love, protection and delight.  You are His treasure.

Look for my next blog post coming.  It’s a guest post from my mother-in-law that I know you are going to love.

Miraculously Blessed,

Jessica

It’s been a while…

Dear Ones -

Perhaps you’ve noticed, perhaps you haven’t, but I have not blogged in quite some time.  Since my last post I have lived through a cold, flew past my 32nd birthday and packed up a bunch of stuff to be moved into our new house.  Then of course there’s the fact that my youngest has been moved into a big boy bed.  Not to mention I’ve been canning peaches and nectarines as well as building up my kombucha supply.  Seems like the last almost two weeks have disappeared on me.

I hope you have been doing well.  Did anyone read George Washington’s farewell address?  If you haven’t yet, I would like to encourage you again to give it a try. (my last post)

I was trying to find a way to sum up how I have been doing and couldn’t really find the right words…but I did remember a cartoon I keep on my fridge as a reminder to my husband that when things get a little scary around here there is always a solution…

It may be a bit before you see me again.  Keep me in your prayers as I have a household to move.  Pray for my kiddos that peace remains in them.  Thank-you!

Miraculously Blessed -

Jessica