Trying something new

So, my computer has crapped out on me for a long time and I have no idea when it’s going to be fixed.  I did get a new phone this weekend though, so maybe I can get back to this blogging thing via my phone. Woohoo.  I actually have quite a lot I want to say.
I really truly believe that I have have been growing by leaps and bounds recently. Some people may not believe this, but I actually have been a little bit of a quiet mouse.  I hide what I truly believe in order to keep peace. Frankly, I’m sick of that.  I’m not sure why I’ve been so concerned with what other people think of me. you might say that I’ve come to the opinion of love me or hate me.  I always have a gut feeling that people are talking about me behind my back anyway.  perhaps that’s a bit self centered.  let me rephrase it a little… I don’t care whether other people talk about me or not. I hope my true friends will love me for who I am. I am not going to try and fix you.  don’t bother trying to fix me.  I am on a journey of growth.  I am not who I want to be.  thank God I am not who I was.  my journey is bringing me to a place of throwing judgment of others out the window.  doesn’t the bible say after all ” who the Son sets free is free indeed”.  let us live freely to grow into who He has designed us to be. 
my question is simply, “what do you need?”  my desire is simply, to be my brother’s keeper so the whole world will know they are not alone.
so what if the person begging for money at the side of the road is a meth adict.  does that mean I don’t help them?  does that mean I allow the government to take control of how they are helped?  Or does that mean I really take a look at who Jesus is and how I can be Jesus to everyone around me.  we are all God’s children.  are there some of us He loves less?  as I mind my miracles, I begin to recognize that there is nothing I wouldn’t do for them.  my love for them knows no bounds.  how could I even imagine that the Father would love His children less than I love mine?  it is because of Him that I have this love inside of me.  it is because of Him that I now to chose to act on this love… no matter how unlovable the child may seem.  many claim to be Christians but without love are you really a follower of Christ?  we all have someone in our lives that we reject.  We all have someone we chose not to love… maybe it’s even ourselves.  I believe it’s time to start to love again.  not just with our heart, not just with our prayers, but with our words and our actions.  it’s time for me to make love visible in my life… it’s time to see the real beauty in life.  my children may not always see a pretty, perfect home.  they may not wear the latest styles and know everything that society offers, but they will know with all of their being what it really means to love someone else.  they will see through my example love manifested… because that is what I see when I look at Jesus.
everyday I will have to start again. some days I may have to start over more than once.  I may find different people harder to love.  this is a journey and a process.
this is looking for miracles.
Miraculously Blessed,
Jessica

No Limits

Dear Ones,
Sadly, I must admit that I live a life filled with limits. Many are real, but not necessary. Although some are dictated by this world we live in, most are self-imposed. I am so tired of limits that stop me from doing the things that would lead to a much fuller life. And so, I am going to really look at my life, reflect on what I see and step out in faith that I really can do the things that are in my heart. My heart soars into places that I have not dared to step. When I begin to allow myself to dream the dreams hidden inside I get goosebumps of excitement. There is no limit to these things. There is instead incredible freedom that goes beyond where I have ever gone before. I would like to invite you to enter the land of dreams coming true with me. It’s a dare to go deeper and farther than you’ve allowed yourself before. No more self imposed limits… no more holding yourself to the place of rigid fear. Just do it.
Miraculously Blessed-
Jessica

When miracles are sleeping

Good Morning Dear Ones –

I am grabbing a few minutes here while my miracles are still curled up in their beds to share with you some thoughts that have been on my mind.  Like a freight train America is careening towards Christmas and in some places it seems like we could miss Thanksgiving altogether.  It does appear that there is one “holiday” (and I used that term with all the sarcasm I can muster at this early hour) still to arrive before Christmas and that is Black Friday.  Oh sure, I love a good deal as much as the next mom, but there is something special about Thanksgiving that seems to be rushed past.

It’s almost like the whole idea of being grateful has disappeared.  Oh, not necessarily in word, but in pace.  It feels like in our hearts we no longer take the time to slow down, look around and see what we truly have.  Often we don’t even take a short minute.  I have been oh-so-guilty of this.  And it’s true, I do have some valid excuses.  Being hugely pregnant, chasing around 2 active boys, trying to get a house moved and cleaned and closed on before baby comes, trying to get a new space organized and the list goes on.  This list of excuses that tempts me to complain rather than praise.  This list of excuses that draws me into the dark rather than shining the light.  This is where I could focus.  I could forget about all the amazing things that are happening and in fact for a period of time this weekend I did.  I allowed the frustration and hormonal imbalance to take over.  I stepped off of solid ground into the quicksand of depression.  Things weren’t going my way.  I hurt.  I wasn’t getting everything I wanted.  Nobody was listening to me.  I hurt.  I feel alone.  There is so much to do and I have no energy to do it and if I don’t do it, well, there is nobody else to do it.  I just need a break.  I just need some peace and quiet.  I hurt.  Not quite sure why I was wanting to spend my time focusing on these things.  They did nothing but drag me deeper.  Sadly, I wasn’t even looking for a rescue rope to pull me out of my pit.  I think I may have a had a shovel to dig myself in deeper.

I was not looking for blessings.  I was not grateful/thankful for anything.  Have you been there?  Please tell me I am not alone.  Please tell me that in some form or another you have been there and done that.  Well, even if you haven’t it’s possible you might find yourself there and I just want to encourage you that not drowning in the hole of self-pity (justified or not) is way better than drowning there.  If you are looking for a place to drown I can offer a suggestion.  Take a dive off the highest cliff of pain you have in your life right into the amazing sea of love that waits for you.  Suck in the water of life.  Literally breathe it in.  This, my friends, this is drowning.  This is where you allow everything you’ve focused on to be pushed out with only the one thought…”I want to live.  I want to live free.”

Thanksgiving is a choice.  Our American ancestors could have spent that first thanksgiving mourning their losses and looking at all the things they didn’t have.  They could have argued and complained their way through the beginnings of their new lives and probably some of them did opt for that route. The life they chose was not easy.  They gave up more than I think many of us can even imagine.  They lost more than many of us may ever know.  And yet, they took the time to count their blessings.  They refused to let go of the promise that God had given them of freedom.  Some things are worth the most valuable treasure we have.  Some prices are worth paying.

And the counting.  That is the most miraculous part.  Somehow, when you being to count your blessings; when you begin to turn your complaints into thanksgivings all that is truly of value seems to multiply.  Suddenly the list of garbage does not seem so big.  Suddenly the mountain of pain is not so insurmountable.  Suddenly, you are soaring with eagles wings over it all.  Imagine this – Light begins to surge through your darkness…just a small flicker at first.  Maybe it’s the flame of a candle in a large dark room.  Then suddenly you are holding a flashlight in your hands and even though shadows are all around you can see.  Next you find a lamp and it drives the darkness from a corner or two of the room and then…oh, then comes the pure joy.  The floodlights are thrown on and hope releases the aroma of freshness.  There is no more darkness.  Not only can you clearly see your blessings, but you can taste them and feel them and dance with them.  It’s a new day.  This is what thanksgiving is all about.  This is what Thanksgiving Day can be all about.  This year instead of rushing through to get to the next “holiday”, stop and live in this moment of grace.  Think on the sacrifice that was paid for your freedom.  Find at least one little thing to be thankful for and allow it to grow.  Let yourself dive into love and drown in it.  I can tell you that this light of thanksgiving is much more satisfying than any darkness of mourning.

If you haven’t gotten it yet, Ann Voscamp has a free APP for One Thousand Gifts that I encourage you to add to your phone.  Maybe it will help you take that first step out of darkness.   http://bit.ly/vG6I6O

Praying you find the freedom of thankfulness this holiday.  Matthew 11:28

Miraculously Blessed,

Jessica

Chosen? For what?

Dear Ones –

Last week I heard a rabbi speaking on how Israel is God’s chosen people.  Well, of course, we’ve all heard that time and again.  Okay, so you’ve heard it before.  But, what does it mean?  Does it mean that they are special?  Does it mean that they are set apart?  Does it mean that they get something nobody else does?  Maybe it does.  Maybe Israel is a group of people who God destined for something beyond anybody else’s imaginations.

 

 

The thing is that it wasn’t the chosen-ness of the Israelite people that struck me.  It was what he was saying they were chosen for.  He was talking about how they were chosen to keep the Word of God.  He said they were chosen to work for God.  Yes, they were chosen for blessing, but he did not see that as the prime thing they were chosen for.  He spoke about how the Jews were chosen to make many angry.  And to him the blessing was found in the opportunity to light the way to God for others.

Right away my mind jumped to 1Peter 2:9-10 (But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; who once were not a people but are now the people of God, who had not obtained mercy but now have obtained mercy.) which I have often prayed over my own life.  This scripture is so ingrained in me that I created a tattoo for my husband’s arm as a sign of the mark of God on his life (X marks the spot) – being chosen by Him.

When the words this rabbi spoke clicked in my mind I reread these verses with a different emphasis.  I know I have slightly thought about it from this angle before, but I don’t think I thought about it in quite this light.  This scripture is about all of us being chosen by God because of Jesus.  Through Him we are all chosen.  We were chosen by mercy for a PURPOSE.  And the purpose – to proclaim the praise of YAHWEH.  And therefore we were chosen for rejection, to be discredited, put down and thrown out.  It does not say we were chosen to be specially blessed (and yet He does bless us in extraordinary ways.)  It does not say that we were chosen to have an easy life.  It says we were chosen to PRAISE  regardless of the circumstances of life.

This is the eucharisteo.  This is what we give thanks for.  We give thanks that we were chosen to be persecuted.  We give thanks that we were chosen to be different.  We give thanks that we were chosen to stand out and in standing out be transparent before others that they may see through us directly to God.  In other words we were chosen to be invisible.  We were chosen to be hated and ridiculed.

Isn’t it a beautiful thing?  We have been chosen to be all the things we would normally want to avoid.  And also, we have been chosen to be royal, holy, special, called out of darkness, made into the people of God and we have obtained mercy.  Truly, I do not believe that there is anything more I could ask for.

Because of all of this.  Because of Jesus.  Because I have been chosen to…

I praise the Lord.  With all that is within me I praise the Lord.  When I rise in the morning I reflect on His mercies and I praise Him for this gift.  As I live and breathe, my breath shall be YAHWEH.  When circumstances come against me, I will lift my eyes and give thanks.  When I am persecuted, ridiculed and put down I will not be discouraged; instead I will delight myself in Him who is well able to and willing to be my all in all.  When I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear not evil for I am not alone.  I am comforted in Him.  He makes all things new, even me.  Praise the Lord!  Praise the Lord!  I am chosen by Him.

I praise You oh Lord for I am fearfully and wonderfully made!  I praise You oh Lord for You are the King of kings and the Lord of lords.  I praise You oh Lord, for You have redeemed my life from death and crowned me with mercy.  I praise You oh Lord because of the joy that was set before You, You endured the cross.  You are my God and I surrender all that I am to You.  I praise You oh Lord for I am

Miraculously Blessed,

Jessica